Part Time Is The Gig For Me!

Before I share about my day, here is Miss Berkie in all her glory! She melts my heart, this girl:)

Today has been a very difficult day being a mom for me. Do I cry? Laugh? Or scream?

Whoever said being a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) is easy, has another thing coming to them. I am currently staying at home since I am still on maternity leave. I only have about 3 weeks left and I am mixed on how I feel. On one hand, I love being able to be with my kids all day to play, giggle, snuggle, cuddle, smooch, hug, etc. On the other hand, I hate feeling unaccomplished. It bothers me (to say it mildly) to be at home all day, yet have nothing to show for it - the house is a mess, dishes are dirty, laundry is piling, and some days I barely manage to squeeze in a shower. How can one be home all day, yet not have an impeccable home? The answer is simple: KIDS.... no wait, the answer is having a TODDLER.

You see, Berkley is super easy. She honestly only cries when she is hungry (or has an upset tummy). But my little boyfriend Cade is a whole other story. He needs me all.the.time. Possibly more now that his sister has arrived. He gets jealous when she needs me, which causes him to fake cry so that I will tend to him instead. That works for a bit until I put my foot down, let him cry, and realize that Berks is getting the raw end of the deal. Isn't she the one that warranted this maternity leave after all? I need to bond with her too.

Back to my point....I have had the most frustrating past 2 days. Cade has not napped!! Maybe 20 minutes or so, but the boy will not sleep. This means that I don't get 1 free minute to even use the restroom in peace.

After being frustrated all day yesterday, I decided to stay up late and get a few things done that I was not able to do during the day. I stayed up till 11pm (my usual bedtime is 8pm). These extra 3 hrs, were not nearly enough time, so I set my alarm for 3am this morning so that I could beat Cade awake and enjoy some quiet time (aka "Me Time"). I planned to work put, shower, prep dinner, unload the dishwasher, put laundry away, and then hopefully have an hour to just sit with me, myself, and I to enjoy taking care of no one but myself. Well, this is how it actually went: woke at 3am, worked out, and then hit the shower by 430am. What happened next was was unbelievable. I could not believe my ears when I heard Cade wailing from in the shower! I think I thought something along these lines, "You have got to be kidding me!! A 3am wake up call still isn't early enough for some alone time? What do I have to do, pull an all-nighter?" Needless to say, I assumed Cade would have a few naps today... but nope, not one! (10 minutes doesn't count in my book).

So this brings me to my point.... while I ADORE my kids, I think working part time is a perfect gig for me. I get to get out of the house for a few hours yet I still get to come home by noon to love, snuggle, bond, and make memories with Cade & Berkley. When I worked full time, I complained that I got home at 4 or 5pm and it was time for baths, dinner, unpacking and repacking diaper bags with no time left to love on the kiddos - all business and no fun time. Thus, part time is the way for me.

Here's to hoping and praying that tomorrow will be a better day! Prayers are welcomed:)